I went to physical therapy today, and I was showering after the steam before going to do my exercise in the pool. I caught myself looking at me in the mirror and smiling. I checked out my butt and everything. I'm so glad nobody saw me, but now here I am busting myself on my blog.
But it's not such a bad thing to look in the mirror and like what I see. It's kind of thrilling, because even when I was twenty pounds lighter than where I am now, I couldn't look at myself and like what I saw. Sometimes I get worried that being happy where I am means that I won't change for the better.
But then I firmly believe that it is Man's nature to be great. It is human conditioning that makes me think that only pain can motivate change. I guess it's because that's the only thing that ever worked in the past for me. I just had to hurt so bad and have no other options. But all my pain brought me in touch with something bigger than me.
Call it God, the Universe, the Force what have you. But it's that connection that has made everything possible and the pain was just the illusion of my will that caused me to suffer. If I could have relaxed into the calm knowing, the faith that change is inevitable, I could get out of my own way and let it happen instead of trying to "make it happen." William Blake wrote, "The fox provides for himself, but God provides for the lion." I have been living the life of a fox, but to paraphrase Jules in Pulp Fiction and mix my references, I'm trying hard to be the lion.
4 comments:
Christy, I don't think it is being conceited at all. In looking for a "before" type picture for my blog I only found a few pictures of myself from the past quite a few years. I never liked my picture taken because I didn't want to see what I actually looked like to other people. In my house, I actually don't even have a full length mirror! only the mirror cabinet in my bathroom. I didn't want to see myself. (i didn't want to face "the truth"!) Now that I have lost nearly 65 pounds I love taking my own picture!! I am proud of my body now!!(even though I am not done, yet!) So, no, I wouldn't call it conceit, I would call it pride! Take pride in the fact that you are looking fabulous!! and know that you are not done yet, either! You can love your body and not be conceited! it's all in the attitude!!
You really are always so positive. I think its really important to like yourself, which so many of us don't. When you like yourself , you are more likely to be a happier person. When you like what you see it makes you feel good, puts a spring in your step. I think its great that you liked what you saw. You have every right to feel fabulous. Keep feeling that way Christy.
Bec
I loved this post Christy!
First of all, don't be worried about looking in the mirror. I'm sure everyone does it to a degree. Only difference is that you are being honest about it. Be proud of yourself and your physical journey.
I am a firm believer in the Universe. The Universe has a great sense of humour and I'm always joking around with it. :) In the words of Earl Hickey "Do good things and good things will happen to you". This is so true! Having a very positive outlook changes they way people treat you. People often ask me how I can be so happy all the time. I tell them that it is very easy: I love my life, I love my family, I love my work and the people I work with, what's not to be happy about!
Thanks for posting your thoughts, it is very inspiring.
Pulp Fiction! That's probably my favorite movie. I love it. Your comments today were awesome. You know, looking in the mirror at yourself is no crime. Be proud!
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