Sunday, December 16, 2007

Day 52: Photo re-run

This is Mission 2 the group shred photos, we're on now. I was posting this and since I posted my backstory yesterday, I thought I'd post my "Mission One" before photo from April of this year. This before photo is one of my favorite photos of me to look at even though I weighed about 185lbs. The most I've ever weighed in my life.

I never knew if I would really ever have the guts to show this picture to anyone, but this is the second time I've posted it. It turned into such a personal moment. Not the actual taking of the picture, but looking at myself just after I took it. I saw me. I saw ME. I love this photo, because I'm smiling and happy and overweight, too. For one split second, alone in my room, I snapped a picture of me in a swimsuit, and I did not hate me. I look at that picture and despite what everyone may think, I thought, I'm okay where I am. I wrote in my journal and wept and was happy with the me I saw in this photo. And for that second, I did not NEED to change, and I had all the time in the world. I knew that I would succeed this time, not because I would hit a target weight at one time or another, not because I was more committed or determined than ever before, none of it. I knew I would succeed, because on this day, I felt the Truth. That I was successful already. You are naturally great, right now, as you are. You are enough--always.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I really think it is true that you have to get to the point of accepting yourself before you can move on/forward. I, too, came to that realization when I started my weight loss journey. for so long i hated myself that i had let myself get so off track with my weight.h When you hate yourself it just makes it worse, you eat more to "soothe" yourseld..viscious circle until you stop it! that is what i did for 12 years. you do have to come to a complete mind shift!! so glad we got through it!!!

KaliLilla.com said...

Christy,

What a beautful smile! You look radiant in all your pictures.

It seems like something has gotten into a few of us (maybe it's in all that water we're drinking now) who feel like revealing old "skeletons" - your photo, Adam's blog, my eating disorder. It's cathartic in a way - letting go and showing that we are all ok no matter what our past or future holds.

Michael said...

Christy, way to go looking back at the first photo. It is very helpful to see where we've come from!

Unknown said...

Christy!
You did , you do and you will always look great my dear friend!
You are right is not the outside but the inside that we must accept!
Whenever I am alone, I never feel lonely because I am with the person I like most..myself!
I am always right and can do whatever I decide LOL

Unknown said...

Hey Christy ... congratulations on your fantastic results so far. You really are a great inspiration.

Your current photo is looking awesome ... no doubt the result of a lot of hard work. Well done!

Rod