Sunday, June 1, 2008

Day 3: 20/20 Otter Vision Mission

I've got to get around to everybody's blogs, but I've got a lot going on right now. I haven't completely processed my feelings around being sad about my Dad, and living in "limbo" as far as my living situation. Plus dating stuff is coming up. It feels like the entire world is dividing up into couples, and I'm feeling a little lonely, which is dangerous, because I wouldn't mind a boyfriend, but I WANT A GREAT ONE. Not just somebody who isn't bad. If I hear one more woman tell me that she might as well make things work with the guy she's dating now, because she doesn't want to die alone I'm gonna frickin' SCREAM. Really? "Make it work" with someone who is just "okay" or worse "kinda not okay" or DIE ALONE. Those are the choices??? But I digress...

I'm really committed to my Mission, because it's really necessary. I've noticed I gained some weight. I just don't have time to worry about that. I'm 36 and working on building a life, and I've kind of FINALLY got into the place where I don't hate the way I look or my body and if I put ONE OUNCE of energy into worrying about my weight it's a slippery slope into obsession and depression and I'll be back to yo-yo dieting and anxiety attacks. SO NOT WORTH IT. So I'm focused on my business and mobility and just eating nourishing foods for my body and the rest is just gonna have to take a back seat for now and maybe even forever. I weigh 155 lbs, which is according any chart on the Universe overweight. Just a point of fact. I've weighed 7-10 lbs less in recent history, but I was wobbling around fresh off my walker, and today I can over two miles in one go for over an hour, and I really just NEVER WANT TO USE A WALKER AGAIN. I'd be lying if I said the weight thing doesn't bother me, but I'm just gonna move past those thoughts as quickly as possible and focus on eating quality food (which I didn't do today as much, funny how that coincided with my being bummed about my weight) and walking and my back exercises. But this mission I will do the total stats thing. I'm gonna measure everything tomorrow. Put it up here and then check it at the end. Then I can make adjustments to kick it up a notch on the next plan, if necessary, AT THE TIME when I have a nice new apartment, my business is rolling along nicely, AND my strength and stamina will be at a place where I can really do something about it.

All I think about is how good it would feel to know that I could just walk as far as I wanted any day I want and not feel afraid of stairs or bending over or any of that. I've been doing my research and if I can walk for eight miles straight comfortably, I could actually begin to train to walk a marathon. I could almost cry every time I think about. Ever step is one step further from that walker. I never want to be trapped in a bed for months at a time again, and I want my own apartment again SO BAD. I just gotta take it one step and one page at a time. Let's see what can happen if I literally do the footwork and leave the rest up to God.

Today I'm grateful I got to:
• Walk 1.6 miles
• Eat TWO serving of fruits and vegetable (what? Weird?)
• Drink FOUR glasses of water

Hmm. I've got to get to the store tomorrow and buy more food. I think I'll walk there! It's only two miles each way. :)

2 comments:

Christina said...

Hi Christy - you've come so far...you ROCK!! =D Perhaps it's time for you to start paying attention to the most important key to a lean body - muscles!
Where is your resistance training girl?? That's how you'll burn that stubborn fat away!
(i came to the conclusion that you don't lift weights becuase you never mention doing it - let me know if i'm wrong!)

Michael said...

Christy, my dear, you are on the right track on all issues. Never settle for just any man. Find the right one, one that treats you right and is what you want. Don't settle! Next, don't worry about the scale so much. It is irrelevant. I've been bouncing around the same weight since the start of M3 and yet my body fat has gone down. I agree with Christina, get into some weight training. Even if you can only do some upper body work at first, you need to be lifting.