Welcome to my rocket ship to wellness!Come aboard!

FYI: Taking photos using a timer when you've got a walker, is a workout in itself.

Hello fellow shredders, and by fellow shredders, I as always, mean Suzette (see blog roll) and hey, but maybe I'll get some visitors because of Adam's challenge. I offer these dark, blurry photos of me, (which kind of remind me of those photos of the Loch Ness monster or Big Foot, because you can't quite make out what's going on) as my Pre-Day 1 test photos. Let's hope they get better!

I've opted to do the private shred for technological reasons. I had no idea what Adam (see blog roll) meant by pixel size and re-size photos and then I got kind of tired and felt, yes, it is my destiny to do the "private shred."

I love Adam's challenge.
I am having the greatest time with Adam's challenge, and it's already transforming my life. I went to my ortho today to tell him that I fully intend to ditch my walker in two weeks, and we talked about how we (my therapists, he, and I) can make that happen. This is NEW BEHAVIOR for me. It wasn't always so.

To be brutally honest, I've found doctor's offices and hospitals incredibly intimidating. I grew up, I don't want to say poor because my family was very rich in other respects, so I'll just call it, "money-lite."

Growing up money-lite, every time I went to the doctor (which meant I was REALLY sick) I would just melt into a pool of guilt and inadequacy.

In my kid mind, going to the doctor cost a gazillion dollars. My screw-up of getting sick meant that somebody was gonna have to work over-time or take days off work and get yelled at by their boss just to take care for me. I just wanted to not bother anybody--especially not important, non-money light doctor people. I felt, if you can believe it, ashamed--ashamed of not being okay. Now, I know the truth. Sick or healthy, I was always okay. But that lesson took a long time to learn. And life delivered the lesson via an unlikely source: a 19 year-old girl who went to PetCo to buy her dog a leash.

She thought her light was green ...
She made a mistake. I've almost made that mistake myself. I, despite the fact that time would reveal I was actually injured, looked into the eye of the ambulance driver with my completely smooshed Dodge Neon in the intersection behind me, and said, "I'm okay." I didn't want to make a fuss.

The pain set in over the next few days, I was forced to seek care, a flurry of paperwork, weird insurance stuff, a law suit followed. I was even re-injured WHILE in physical therapy, because I didn't want to bother the lady with what was probably, nothing. I finally hurt too much to pretend I was okay. Life MADE me speak up. It's funny how you have to admit you feel not okay to finally realize, you were always okay. Does that make sense?

Over the last three years I have seen so many therapists and doctors (I've been injured and healthy. If you're just tuning in the walker is a recent, flare-up. I haven't been crippled this whole time) and slowly I started to speak up. I realized nobody knows my body better than me. I started being less afraid. Not just in this area of my life, but all across the board. When this challenge was posted on Adam's blog, I thought somehow, I'm gonna figure out how I can do it. And for me, there was a tipping point of a transformation that has been three years in the making.

You are the pilot.
When I went into the doctors office today, I was informed, I was in charge, and I was as Adam would say, "on a mission." I became not just an active participant in my health and well being, I became the leader. I am the pilot of this rocket (my body).

I've lost 4 lbs since my last visit just two weeks ago. I've upped my commitment to myself, and my continued wellness. This challenge couldn't come at a better time. By committing to myself and allowing myself to be okay where I am at any moment be it injured, in transition, a little weirded out, depressed or happy. I've given myself the means to put myself in the drivers seat and accept this challenge even though my flight plan doesn't necessarily match everybody else's.

You are already a success.

If you're taking your BEFORE photos today and you feel moved to do it. SMILE! Enjoy where you are, be grateful for what you have and EVERYTHING it has taken for you to have it in you to commit to this challenge and invest in your health. Yes, you are transforming, but be open to the idea that in order to be ready, a transformation has already taken place. Congratulations!

It takes sixty-five thousand errors before you are qualified to make a rocket.’— Werhner von Braun

3-2-1 Blast-Off!