Feeling really happy to be mentioned in Adam's blog

I wrote a different entry today, but I just deleted it. Here's the mooshy, gooshy Truth. I just checked into Adam Waters RTP blog (see blogroll) and he mentioned my little blog here as part of his bloggers. I AM SO happy to be included. Why?

Because for quite some time, I've had pangs of outsider feelings regarding what is in my mind the real RTP people. It's silly, but it's an old story for me. It's funny how things from when you're a kid kind of follow you. For one reason or another, I never seemed to be able to do things the real way, the normal way, and fit in and be like everybody else. And what's hilarious is that the entire RTP concept is pretty unique in and of itself. It's not "normal" it's pretty extra-ordinary, which is why these kind of thoughts are really old thinking. But old thinking takes a while sometimes to fade out completely. Now, I know there are tons of advantages to being, how did my teachers put it "different," "special," "odd." I've grown to really dig it about myself, I do (mostly). But I wish I could just turn it off for a second sometimes. It's funny to look at some days. But sometimes when I try so hard to just do it like everybody else and despite the fact that I'm a pretty clever gal it still turns out NOTHING like what everyone else does it drives me crazy--literally. But that is another story for another day.

Back to RTP blog ... I read Adam's blog six month's ago. It inspired me to go on my own physical transformation and start my own website (see blog roll for My Thank You Site Blog).

I knew I had to start slow, because I have a spinal injury from a car accident three years ago. And also, to scale back on too much pressure to keep myself from getting too gung ho and re-injuring myself or feeling like a big ole failure and quitting. I m prone to depression and anxiety. It's no big thing, it's like diabetes for your brain. You just kind of learn doing this kind of stuff with this kind expectations spikes my brain up really high and then after a bit of time it drops like a rock.

So I started with just drinking water, meditating, dancing in my room, and being grateful for being where I was. It made me happy. It was working. I didn't hurt much at all.

I got kind of cocky. I decided to buy the books Adam had online. After all, my back could be cured? As fate would have it, (fate the seems to preclude me EVER doing things like all the other cool kids. Hello, Mom why can't I have Jordache jeans lol) my credit cards (all THREE) wouldn't work.

I wrote Adam, he said it should work. I called my bank, and they said the cards should work. Finally, I find out that there's this little-known rule in Clickbank security feature that cannot be over-ridden, which is a security feature that does not allow credit cards with a billing address in one country to be used outside that country! I'm here in the Philippines on an extended visit, but I LIVE in LA. Oh fate.

But the very next day, I met my Arnis teacher. My transformation journey took a turn to include martial arts!

My feeling of weirdness subsided by the joy of doing martial arts. Then, this injury came about nearly three weeks ago. At first, I thought it wasn't serious. Then, it got worse.

And I've been in bed with even more time to read everybody's blogs, and still thinking in my head, I can do this, I'm still transforming or whatever in my own odd way that makes me me and I dig that (mostly). But every once in awhile, I would read a little something in Adam's blog and think to myself, but I'm not really doing it. I'm not taking photos or Metabolic surging or HIT cardio-ing, or setting goals or anything. I'm just doing little stuff and feeling good about it (WHICH I am very PROUD OF), but these people must think I'm some sort of weirdo.

"Maybe this RTP blog is just for people who are doing the RTP plan?" Then I had this sort of thought that is hard to describe, but I'll explain it like ... did you ever have like a group of close friends at work and there was this slightly odd woman who was nice and everything, but just like never could click in the conversation, and every time she joins you for lunch or hangs out in the breakroom each of her comments are just like kind of not at all what you're talking about. I started thinking I was that woman in these blogs.

Haha, my brain just does stuff like that. But now I'm thinking that if there are any other odd ducks out there with health problems that still want to transform their body but can't for whatever reason do it the Superman Adam Waters Way or the Super Woman Suzette and Kriistina way, they can do it the just as Super-But-A-Little-Different Christy way.

No matter what, there is always SOMETHING you can do, but whatever you get done, it is and YOU ARE (and I AM) ALWAYS ENOUGH.