A rant in c minor ...
Reading Suzette's blog on powerful reasons why, really got me thinking about what I want for me and my fitness. I was very specific in setting my goals for this mission (where the accountability tool ends on January 8, but is my life's mission) to not include any specific number. I state my goal and say that my success will be reflected numerically (in that the laws of physics and general nutrition will still apply to me) and then what some other sources have to say about the numbers.
I know that setting specific goals is a really good tool for getting what you want, but for some reason when it comes to health people focus on the numbers. My goal is specific. It is TRULY what I want.
Suzette wrote about playing basketball for cardio and how great it would feel and even wrote about how mopping for five hours at work was a real workout and how she likes looking in the mirror and feeling good, etc. I want to feel that.
I read in Dougal's blog of his vision of taking his loved ones to the beach and enjoying his body and the feeling he got and how that feeling even felt like his kids were happier, etc. Yeah, I want that feeling.
Dougal wrote about the scale and why it's not a good measure of progress how body fat is a better indicator of your fitness. And that's true, but what I'm afraid of is getting caught up and depressed because I didn't hit a certain fat % number.
Same thing with the photos. I know I'm eating right and my body feels good, I FEEL like I look good, and I can feel myself getting stronger (ALL WHAT I REALLY WANT FROM MY TRANSFORMATION), and then I stare at my photos and notice no change and get depressed.
But ALL of those things, weight, body fat, photo results are JUST INDICATORS to clue me in on my progress. NONE OF THEM ARE THE GOAL.
MY goal will and shall never again be a number or to look a certain way.
Because those numbers are not specific enough. Numbers to me are just indicators of what some people have noticed correlates to a certain degree of look or appearance. But the truth is what I want in my physical self, this physique transformation, is to have no barriers to my experience of life.
To walk freely, to not pull weird muscles while sleeping (what up with that?), to run and jump and carry stuff that needs carrying without worry or too much strain, to feel confident in my skin, feel strong, feel attract.
FEELINGS. Yes, they don't look as concrete and are not easy to quantify, but I don't give a damn. It is still very specific. My goals have power. My words and thoughts impact my happiness. I feel things intensely and choose to spare myself the grief that those kind of goals bring me.
Because as Lilla said in a comment I read, think of what you, really, really, really want.
I don't want a number. To paraphrase John Travolta on Oprah, I want to live life well.
One day, I want to live so well and so in the moment that I have no goals. But as I've written before, that day is obviously not today, because that sounds like a goal. lol
PS My weight is my only stat, because its the only one I have access to as I am in the Philippines and my mobility issues make it hard for me to get to the market. I get to have my weight by going to a particular wing of the hospital once a week. My physical therapist uses it to gage how many pounds of pressure to use for my the traction they put me in for my back. Plus, my food plan tool (until I can more accurately gage my body's needs by just feeling, because that gage has been thrown a bit off kilter from crazy diets that said my Mission One was done never stepping on a scale or pre-written diet plan, no daily pics but a few, I posted before and after photos on Day 8, Nov. 2nd post) uses my weight to determine the amount of "Points" I can eat.
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13 comments:
Well, first I'm going to say that I disagree about the importance of the numbers, but I totally respect where you are coming from. I would never give you a hard time about it. At the same time, since we are always producing results of some kind (not always the kind we want) how will you know for sure you are producing the kinds of results you need? I am no expert, but I've done alot of reading on fat loss and one thing is for sure--improperly calculating your calories by even a small amount can lead your body down that starvation response area and that's an area you don't want to go. So be careful as you forge ahead. Make sure you're eating enough of the right food at the proper intervals. The rest takes care of itself. Nice post!
I'm a numbers guy myself. That's the Engineer in me and I can't really help that. I measure and track stuff for a living. Your post definitely helps me think about the other goals. The intangibles are often in the back of my mind, but clouded and hidden by the numbers. Thanks for being there to bring them to the forefront and I'm sure everybody that reads your post will think a little deeper.
Michael, I totally love that you post you disagree. That's something I have a hard time doing, and dig that you won't give me a hard time about the numbers. In response to the starving thing, I will know for sure, because I'll be hungry when I'm starving. I'm not saying I won't use the numbers as a tool for indicating my health (they're a great tool), but the tool isn't my goal. To ease your concern, I'm using a food plan tool this time out and am under a lot of doctors (and therapists) supervision. lol
RAIDEN I knew you were a numbers guy from the first time I visited your blog. I remember thinking, yeah, the tools that work better for him are the really specific numbers. (You use two data collection methods!)The science of it. There's a real passion for the numbers in your blog that I just don't have. I remember the post I read of yours that got me thinking, too. It was the one where you wrote about being more of a numbers guy than a visual guy (like Adam) so you're gonna rely on data to better track your progress. That was a really good post. It really added to my line of thinking here. So many posts have. I'm really glad that a post I wrote gave cause for thought, because that one of yours really got me thinking about what works for me. I guess you're a numbers guy, Adam's a visual guy, and I'm a "feelings" girl. That's a shocker! lol Thanks.
Christy, what works for you should be what you stick to and I'm proud of you for knowing what works for you and how you are ready to make it work. Remember, you won't necessarily feel the starvation response...your body just goes into the mode where it lowers your metabolism because it thinks you aren't going to feed it enough. Have you read "Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle" by Tom Venuto? He has a great explanation in there.
I've heard it said, "if you don't know where you are going, how are you going to know when you get there?" But in life there is no "getting there" as we are always continually moving in some direction; but it is the direction you need to be aware of...are you going forward or are you going backward. You can live in the present but the decisions you make today, right now, will determine where you will be tomorrow and in the future. So essentially while living in the present you are also living for the future and some future "goal".
well, that is suzette's take on this discussion. I love your insightful posts, Christy. They do lead us into quite good conversation. And of course causes us to use our minds and think! Thanks! I am grateful for that! I am also glad we are inspiring each other to think about things we may not have thought of before or for a long time!
Michael I get two comments from you today. Yahoo! I was just logging on to finish going around to everybody's blogs and I saw your comment. Oh. Starvation response. I misunderstood. No, I haven't read the book, yet. When I get back to LA, I'm gonna buy it. (long story about clickbank and my cc not being in the same country). I never worried too much about me eating too little food (not the nature of my food problems as of late, lol), but you're right about that. I think it was my crazy dieting I did in my 20s did just that. Weight Watchers makes sure you eat a minimum amount of points per day. I've got the eating at least the minimum down pat. It's the not going over the maximum. lol. I'm thinking they have the minimum because of the starvation response your talking about. I'm gonna make sure to look for that part in Tom's book. Thanks, again.
Suzette! Awesome points. ESPECIALLY THE PART ABOUT IN LIFE THERE IS NO GETTING THERE!!!! So true. So true. That's like a quote in itself. Studying the writings of a lot of poets and mystics has been the focal point of the last two years of my life. I think it's seeping into my blog. Thanks for saying something I wrote has inspired thought. You really put a lot of thought about what I wrote, and even wrote about it in my comments. That's really cool. I know that happens when I read other people's blogs (like this post today, lol), but it's a really neat feeling to have it happen on my blog.
When I lost 40lbs I didn't have a goal. For two years! But I still lost it anyway. I just wanted to get that damn blubber off me and well if this help, I weigh myself everyday and think "Drop damnit, drop!"
Well, in a way my goal is to drop that number on the scale everyday (abit unhealthy but hey, whatever works yeah)
And basketball was how I lost it. Training for competition 4 times a week so tough I puked a few times (no modern technics in asia, just the old tried and tested methods of dashing and LOTS of grueling work)
After bball practices at 10pm I eat no dinner and go to bed. That dropped my pounds fast :)
Sammy, I love you, and you frighten me. lol I am literally laughing. I would kill to hear your voice.
OMG, I totally did stuff like that, except I was older than you, not athletic, oh, and I gained like forty pounds.
I keep laughing, because you said blubber and then said standing on the scale. And I get this vision of myself standing on the scale with my fat all everywhere shouting outloud "Die, blubber, die." Like I was a grizzled, sea captain. Argh, matey.
Hey Christy,
Very incitful especially having read through all the comments.
I can totally see where you are coming from but at the same time will always be a numbers person, facts and figures as I am sure you have guessed. That said though I have found that over the last few weeks I have been listening to my body much more. I feel much happier with the way I look and I finally feel like I have made some great progress which is unusual for me.
Even though my goal will be measured by my BF % how I "feel" is still very important. I am going to be very interested to see how I "feel" when I reach my goal, will I be happy?? We will see. Keep strong with your goals they are real life even though they may be harder to measure.
Loved the whole blog, would you guest blog on my blog soon, one day? It could use a well written, flowing and inciteful blog??
Take care,
Andrew
Christy,
I've been feeling the same way lately. I have this image of myself getting back down to 98lbs. But when I WAS there, it was difficult to maintain - I was always hungry but I LOVED the way I looked. I pretty much starved myself (got down to 92lbs) for a guy (stupid reason, I know.)
The interesting thing though is even though I'm 110lbs now vs. 98lbs then, my bodyfat is the the SAME. So I was 98lbs but skinny-fat because I didn't exercise then. I was probably just fat and bones, no muscle. Now I weigh 110lbs and same fat percentage but exercising hard. So I'm assuming some of the weight difference is from muscle I hope?
Anyway, I'm tired of letting the numbers dictate my mood. But it's so hard for me not to measure and strive for the "number" I was before. I'm still not giving up but after this Mission, I may revise my weight goal to something more realistic that I can maintain.
Hi Christy ,
We really should focus on how we feel not numbers. Don't let the scale number ruin your day. If you wake up feeling great stay away from the scale and you'll probably feel great all day.
Bec
Andrew! I will type yet again how much I missed you. I would kill for a guest-starring appearance on your blog. Maybe for "sweeps week" we can do a cross-over appearance. Ooh. Snazzy!
Lilla, OMG, for the longest time I didn't think there was any OTHER reason to watch my weight than a man! lol I'm putting it out in the world to not think about the numbers (and my health issues make it easier), but I am so tempted to just go the other way. I have a magic number (way higher than yours), but I just don't even want to think about it. You never know maybe we take our focuses off the number, and your body likes one even lower. Wow! That would rock.
Bec, you couldn't be more right. Stepping on it can suck the light our of a moment like nobody's business. Luckily I have no direct access to a scale. It's really curing my "scale" addiction.
Christy, ....hmmm, wow that is all too complicated for me..like I said, with my tongue planted firmly in my cheek...you think too much.
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