I'll be posting photos in the morning. I had a fantastic Arnis lesson. We did bagging drills, and I couldn't wait to run home and practice. I am SO excited about my lesson on Friday. I LOVE IT.
I am very grateful to be happy again. I'm getting so much better with dealing with my depression and NO MEDS FOR ME [well I have them, but I've opted to not take them]. I understand some people have to take meds for depression, but for me, I'm going to hold off. I've got a lot of faith, and the luxury of TIME right now. I would have had to take them if I had to go to work instead of working for myself. It is one of the many adjustments I've made to allow myself to be me. Anyway, I'm getting better with self-acceptance and not kicking myself when I'm down. I'm making strides in not looking at this side of me as some sort of defect in my character. My doctor explained that it is hereditary like being allergic to cats or diabetes, and much like allergies and diabetes, there are things I can do too alleviate my condition like diet and exercise. And that is one thing that I am REALLY proud of this time around, I REALLY DOVE INTO making sure that I did almost no sugar, very few simple carbs, limited coffee, no diet coke, plenty of rest, water, fruits and vegetables, meditation, spiritual reading, when my mood swung dark. It really worked!! I had faith it would lift [even though it feels like when it happens that it always was this way and always will be] and IT DID!!!!!
I've lost months even years to dark moods and now, FINALLY, I really learned the tools and taken THE ACTIONS to take care of myself and it lifted within a week. And I still got stuff done for my business. This is such a victory. You can have no idea.
I have to go to sleep now. In the morning--PHOTOS. I couldn't risk my good mood just yet. ;-)
FREE DAY TODAY, because I deserve it. But I did have an 1 1/2 hour lesson and I practiced for twenty minutes the second I got home. [PS I'm aware of manic episodes, but if this one of them, it will pass, too and it doesn't feel too bad in that I actually feel like I can go to sleep. Don't worry.]
Gratitude List (may some repeats, because it's my FREE DAY, in so many ways)
1) SUZETTE!
2) Awesome song BiPolar Girlfriend by Mongo
(It's on my myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/yourfriendchristymurphy )
3) To God for this gloriously happy day
4) Vanilla Ice Coffee
5) Google
6) Arnis Lessons
7) My teacher LULOY
8) Adam Waters
9) iChat
10) My Mom
11) My sister, Edie
12) My brother, Dave
13) All my friends back home
14) My website had its most profitable day to DATE!
www.my-thank-you-site.com
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2 comments:
It posted afterall! Great news! I was in a fog it seemed for quite a while, I think mostly while I was "fat." I was "depressed" all the time. I didn't even want to look into the mirror, eventhough all we have is a little mirror in the bathroom( no long mirrors in the house!). For the longest time(literally years) I would say that I needed to lose weight. I would start then "something" always seemed to happen that I would use as an excuse not to do what I knew I should do. I look back now and see that I was an emotional eater, and still am to some point. It may sound strange but I just came to the point where I "just decided" to change my unhealthy eating habits and get off my lazy butt and exercise. It did take some "outside" inspiration but the point is that I "dedided" to do it and just did it!
All that to say that I know you can so do this! You can choose to have a good attitude and make the most of your situation and you are doing just that! Self-acceptance does come with time. I know from my own experience.
Sorry this comment was so long. some thoughts can't be shortened.
Thanks for understanding, Suzette.
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